Article 50: Methods of Accepting Psychological Counseling and Maintaining a Positive Mood

11. How to receive psychological counseling?

Psychological counseling generally consists of three stages: ① clarifying the problem; ② gaining insight; and ③ problem-solving or treatment. For each of these stages, the client should understand what needs to be done and what effects should be achieved, and actively cooperate with the psychological counseling professional to obtain the best counseling results.

1. Clarifying the issue stage

At this stage, the client should truthfully and in detail describe their problems and concerns, including the cause of the problem, its development, and any solutions already tried. Do not conceal or embellish the facts; this will help the counselor accurately determine the nature of the problem.

2. The stage of gaining comprehension

The counselor will help the client analyze the underlying causes of their problems, including subconscious conflicts, irrational beliefs, and maladaptive behavioral patterns. The client should actively cooperate, carefully consider the questions and explanations raised by the counselor, and strive to gain a new understanding of their own issues.

3. Problem-solving or treatment phase

Based on this understanding, the counselor will work with the client to develop a change plan and guide them in taking action. The client should diligently implement the plan and provide timely feedback on any difficulties encountered and the results achieved during implementation.

Only after these three stages of interaction will the person seeking help feel that their trip was worthwhile. Here are some more direct suggestions:

Don't wait until your mental health problems become severe before seeking help; take preventative measures.

Don't expect to solve all your problems in one consultation;

• Think carefully about what you want to say before seeking advice;

• Treat the counselor as a friend during consultations, answer all your questions, and don't worry too much about your self-presentation or image;

• Do not expect mental health professionals to provide direct "decision-making," such as whether or not to get a divorce.

12. How to maintain a good mood?

Maintaining a positive mood not only contributes to our physical health but also improves our work and study efficiency, fosters a well-rounded personality, and ultimately enhances our overall physical and mental well-being. Life is unpredictable, and we inevitably experience ups and downs. Maintaining a positive mood essentially involves regulating our emotions and learning to release and overcome negative feelings. Generally speaking, we can take the following measures to regulate our mood:

1. Addressing the root causes affecting mood

When objective things fail to meet our needs, we experience negative emotions. However, we should not wallow in self-pity and self-pity, but rather focus on solving the fundamental problems we face, daring to "face the bleak reality of life and confront the dripping blood." Eradicating the root of suffering is the fundamental way to maintain a good state of mind.

2. Change your perspective

Because our perspectives on people and things directly affect our emotions, the same event can evoke completely different feelings depending on the angle from which it is viewed. Learning to put ourselves in others' shoes and looking at problems from a positive perspective can effectively improve our mood.

3. Express emotions in a healthy way

When negative emotions accumulate to a certain point, it's necessary to find appropriate ways to release them. You can confide in family and friends, write in a diary, shout in a secluded place, or engage in vigorous physical exercise. After releasing these emotions, you'll feel much lighter.

4. Shift your attention

When caught in a negative mood, you can actively shift your attention to other things, such as watching a movie, listening to music, reading, or doing crafts. Shifting your attention can break the vicious cycle of negative emotions.

5. Cultivate an optimistic attitude towards life

Optimistic people are more likely to find beauty in life and recover from setbacks more easily. An optimistic mindset can be cultivated by reading inspirational books, making optimistic friends, and practicing gratitude.

6. Maintain a regular daily routine

Sufficient sleep, a balanced diet, and moderate exercise all contribute to maintaining emotional stability. People with regular lifestyles tend to have a better mood than those with chaotic lifestyles.

13. How should we approach secondary sexual characteristics during puberty?

Secondary sexual characteristics are the physical changes that accompany the maturation of sexual organs. Girls typically experience their first menstruation around age 14, and boys their first ejaculation around age 16, marking the maturation of these organs. Around these times, a series of secondary sexual characteristics appear. From age 8 or 9, girls experience a widening of the pelvis, rounding of the hips, development of nipples and breasts, and the appearance of pubic and armpit hair, gradually acquiring female physiological characteristics. Boys, from age 10 or 11, experience testicular enlargement, a prominent Adam's apple, the appearance of pubic, armpit, and facial hair, and around age 14, their voices begin to change, gradually acquiring male physiological characteristics. These physiological changes can cause curiosity, surprise, and even fear in teenagers. Without sufficient knowledge of sexual physiology, this can lead to various psychological problems. For example, some boys find body hair unsightly and try to pluck it out, or believe that voice change indicates a problem with their vocal cords. Girls may feel ashamed of their developing breasts, hunching over, binding their chests, and attempting to conceal these changes. During this special stage, parents and teachers should provide necessary guidance and education to teenagers, helping them to happily accept secondary sexual characteristics.

Understanding sexual development is essential for adolescents. Through sex education classes and individual guidance from parents, adolescents should learn about the process, manifestations, and functions of sexual organ maturation. Simultaneously, it's crucial to correct any misconceptions adolescents may have about secondary sexual characteristics. For example, some middle school students, influenced by traditional views, consider sex ugly and dirty, finding it difficult to accept secondary sexual characteristics and hesitant to confide in others about the resulting confusion. Some students believe that pre-pubescent physiques are beautiful, while post-pubescent physiques are ugly. Adolescents should understand that sexual maturity and the appearance of secondary sexual characteristics are necessary stages of growth, important markers of adulthood, and an important aspect of youthful beauty. A well-developed individual is mature and beautiful.

Helping teenagers understand the individual differences in the development of secondary sexual characteristics during puberty can alleviate their anxieties. Even after correctly recognizing and accepting these characteristics, some teenagers still focus on their physical development, fearing underdevelopment, and experiencing anxiety and distress due to differences in secondary sexual characteristics. Statistics show that among girls, 11.2% are anxious because their breasts are too large, 25.7% because they are too small, and 22.4% experience anxiety about other breast-related issues such as uneven size or shape. Among boys, 6.1% are anxious because their penis is too large, 24.9% because it is too small, and 6.3% are troubled by excessive or insufficient facial hair. These data indicate that concerns about secondary sexual characteristics are quite common among teenagers. In reality, although the timing, shape, and size of secondary sexual characteristics development vary from person to person, the vast majority of teenagers' development is within the normal range, and there is no need to worry about it.

Teenagers should build confidence in their physical development, be certain that their development is normal, and not pay too much attention to these changes. The more they pay attention, the more worries they will have. Instead, they should devote more energy to their studies and extracurricular activities, and they will be able to overcome their confusion about secondary sexual characteristics.