6. Precautions before becoming a husband and the physiological basis of marital sexual behavior

Things to note before becoming a husband

The title of "husband" is attractive to most men, especially after they have a satisfactory fiancée. They dream of becoming husbands as soon as possible. However, they do not realize that as a husband who bears the main responsibility in the family, he needs to have cultivation in various aspects. Here, we will only introduce some physiological issues that husbands need to know and pay attention to.

1. Penis size

Some young men are always worried that their penis is too small. In fact, penis size is unrelated to sexual life. As long as development is normal and the penis can achieve a normal erection, a good sex life is possible. Some young men have relatively large penises and worry that their wives won't be able to adapt after marriage. This worry is unnecessary, because the baby's head can still pass through during childbirth, demonstrating the vagina's great elasticity.

2. Nocturnal emission

Some young men worry that frequent nocturnal emissions will affect their sex life after marriage. In fact, almost all unmarried men experience nocturnal emissions, with the first occurrence around age 12, and 77% of men experiencing this between the ages of 15 and 18. Semen is not, as some believe, ten drops of blood to one drop of semen; it consists of water, protein, and sugar. One to two nocturnal emissions per week is normal and will not affect health.

3. Masturbation

Some people who masturbate before marriage worry that it will affect their sex life after marriage, while others find that their erections are weaker during masturbation and suspect impotence. These views are unfounded; the more you overthink these issues, the more negative consequences you'll have. Masturbation is a bad habit, but it's not the shameful, harmful, or despicable habit some people portray it to be. Masturbation itself doesn't necessarily harm health, but the consequences, fear, and guilt it evokes can have a detrimental effect. We should discourage young people from masturbating, but even if they do, it won't have serious consequences for their sex life after marriage; masturbation will naturally cease once marriage begins. Young people should focus their energy on their studies and work, but they shouldn't live in constant anxiety because of masturbation, forcing themselves to repeatedly create feelings of fear.

4. Foreskin

Young men rarely pay attention to whether they have phimosis or paraphimosis. Phimosis means the foreskin covers the glans penis but can still be retracted, while paraphimosis means it cannot be retracted. Phimosis or paraphimosis easily traps smegma and dirt, potentially leading to penile cancer. Paraphimosis can cause paraphimosis. Some people experience excruciating pain from paraphimosis on their wedding night. Therefore, it is advisable to have excess foreskin removed if possible. Furthermore, the foreskin must be retracted and cleaned thoroughly before sexual intercourse to prevent urethral and genital infections in the female partner.

5. Testes

Some people worry about the size of their testicles, but this is mostly a misunderstanding. Testicles are evaluated based on their quality, not their size. A pair of normally developed testicles, regardless of size, will not affect sexual life or fertility. Of course, if the testicles are significantly smaller than normal, a check-up at a urology clinic is necessary. Furthermore, a single, normally developing testicle will not lead to any adverse outcomes.

6. Female genitalia

Many men view sex with a sense of mystery, some are completely ignorant, and a very small number even attempt to break the woman's urethra or rub against her vulva during their wedding night. This extreme lack of sexual knowledge often stems from viewing intercourse as vulgar, shameful, and dirty, and this must be thoroughly corrected. Married life is a perfectly legitimate affair. The woman's reproductive organs include the clitoris, vagina, labia majora and minora, uterus, ovaries, and vaginal opening, and most women have an intact hymen. Even if the hymen is broken, it does not necessarily indicate infidelity. On the wedding night, the erect penis will break the hymen, and intercourse occurs through penile insertion into the vagina. As for how to achieve orgasm and harmony during sexual intercourse, this must be learned through experience accumulated after marriage.

Physiological and anatomical aspects of marital sexual behavior

The process of sexual physiological response

The sexual physiological response process can be divided into the excitement phase, the plateau phase, and the resolution phase. After the resolution phase, men will also experience a refractory period. The excitement phase of the sexual physiological response is the preparation stage for sexual intercourse, the plateau and orgasm phases are the intercourse phase, and the resolution phase is the ending stage of sexual intercourse.

1. Excitement phase

Sexual arousal is caused by physical or psychological sexual stimulation. After various stimuli guide a person's sexual desire, this desire triggers a series of conditioned or unconditioned reflexes, leading to the excitement phase. During this stage, there is a process to stimulate sexual arousal, which involves using language, caresses, and other forms of passion to arouse the partner's sexual desire. Intercourse should only occur when both partners have entered the excitement phase. If this can be achieved, a satisfying sex life is more likely. The sign that a man has entered the excitement phase is penile erection, resulting from the engorgement of the corpora cavernosa with blood, and the contraction of the cremaster muscle, which causes the testicles to rise upwards, and the scrotum to flatten.

2. Duration

During the excitement phase, tension remains above the baseline level of non-excitement, showing a significant increase relative to the baseline threshold. Upon entering the plateau phase, sexual tension remains stable at a high level, and the presence of effective stimulation can further intensify and increase the level of excitement. When the level of excitement reaches the threshold for orgasm, it can trigger orgasm, marking the end of the plateau phase and the onset of climax. At this point, the height of sexual tension and excitement has reached its peak. During the plateau phase, the diameter of the glans penis slightly increases, the color of the glans darkens, and due to vascular congestion, the testicles further increase in volume and rise further to contact the perineum. This is due to urethral gland secretion, and a small amount of mucus may flow from the urethral orifice.

3. Climax period

Due to the mutual stimulation of the sexual organs, pleasure is transmitted to the sexual center through sensory nerve endings. When the stimulation reaches or exceeds the threshold level of orgasm, various nerve reflexes trigger the occurrence of orgasm. The occurrence of orgasm signifies that sexual desire has been satisfied, also known as sexual satisfaction. In men, the entire reproductive system, starting from the epididymis and including the vas deferens, seminal vesicles, prostate, ejaculatory ducts, and posterior urethra, undergoes strong and uncontrollable rhythmic contractions, thus expelling semen through the urethra and out of the urethral opening. This is the ejaculation phenomenon that occurs when excitement reaches its peak. The timing of ejaculation is beyond the control of will or thought; once orgasm is triggered, ejaculation is inevitable.

4. Regression period

This period differs significantly between men and women. After ejaculation, the engorged penis softens and shrinks due to a rapid decrease in blood flow, and the erection quickly disappears. Simultaneously, the testicles also decrease in size and descend to the base of the scrotum due to reduced blood flow, leading to a rapid decline in libido. It's worth noting that a woman's libido declines more slowly, gradually. Some men fail to recognize this physiological characteristic in women and feel sleepy immediately after ejaculation, which can negatively impact the woman's sexual satisfaction, mood, and psychological state. In such cases, the man should continue to caress the woman until her libido has completely subsided, then rest together and conclude sexual activity.

5. Refractory period

After ejaculation, a man enters a refractory period. Although sexual stimulation is present after ejaculation, it cannot immediately induce a return to the excitement period. The length of the refractory period varies greatly between different individuals and at different times.

Completion of sexual intercourse

Male sexual behavior is regulated by the central nervous system and the endocrine system. It is primarily controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system, and secondarily by the sympathetic nervous system. Generally speaking, erection is controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system, while ejaculation is controlled by the sympathetic nervous system. Both types of nerve control are controlled by the cerebral cortex. When the control of higher nerves is lost, erection can also occur through spinal reflexes.

Male sexual behavior is also influenced by hormones, primarily androgens, namely testosterone, dihydrotestosterone, and androstenedione. Testosterone and androstenedione are mainly produced by the interstitial cells of the testes under the control of progesterone. Testosterone plays a crucial role in maintaining sexual arousal and ejaculation.

Normal male sexual behavior includes sexual arousal, penile erection, intercourse, sexual arousal and increase, ejaculation, orgasm, and sexual release.

Male sexual arousal can be triggered by the five senses (sight, hearing, smell, touch, and conscious association) and various external stimuli, leading to sexual desire. Sexual desire is the pursuit of sexual satisfaction, closely related to sexual instinct and behavior, and inherently carries a clear psychological dimension. After male sexual arousal, the reaction is immediately reflected in the external genitalia, primarily manifested by noticeable changes in blood vessel congestion and muscle contraction.

When sexual arousal signals travel through the nervous system to the erection center, and then along the erection nerves to the penis, this causes the corpora cavernosa to become engorged with blood, resulting in an erection that enlarges and hardens. Without sexual stimulation, the penis is usually flaccid and relatively small. During sexual arousal, blood flows from the vascular sinuses within the corpora cavernosa, increasing pressure and causing the penis to swell and become erect, making intercourse possible. At the end of intercourse, the outflow of venous blood exceeds the inflow of arterial blood, and the penis returns to a flaccid state. The penis is 4–11 cm long when flaccid and 14–18 cm long when erect; the size of the penis does not significantly affect the attainment of sexual pleasure.

During intercourse, the glans penis is repeatedly stimulated, and when it reaches orgasm due to physical and mental stimulation, blood vessels become congested and muscle tension reaches its peak. When sexual arousal and pleasure reach a certain level, the muscles of organs such as the ampulla of the vas deferens, prostate, and seminal vesicles contract, expelling semen into the posterior urethra. At this time, a feeling of fullness and impending release is felt, followed by an uncontrollable contraction impulse. Simultaneously, the entire urethra contracts rhythmically, expelling semen from the body. This is accompanied by sexual pleasure, sexual satisfaction, increased heart rate, rapid breathing, and elevated blood pressure. After ejaculation, penile erection subsides, and sexual arousal disappears.

Physiological phenomena of ejaculation

The physiological phenomenon of ejaculation can be divided into three processes: semen entering the posterior urethra, bladder neck closure, and semen being ejected forward from the posterior urethra. Each process is controlled by different nerves.

The ejaculation center is located in the thoracolumbar segment of the spinal cord. When stimulation travels from the genitals to the central nervous system via the pudendal nerve, the efferent nerves then cause contraction of the smooth muscles of the epididymis, vas deferens, and prostate via the hypogastric plexus and bladder plexus, allowing sperm and semen to flow into the posterior urethra. Due to the increased volume of semen stored in the posterior urethra, ejaculation occurs through nerve reflexes, causing contraction of the muscles surrounding the urethra and perineum. Simultaneously, the bladder neck also contracts under the control of the sympathetic nervous system.

The specific physiological process of ejaculation is as follows: the corpora cavernosa of the penis are the organs involved in the erection mechanism, while the urethra and corpus spongiosum are related to ejaculation and sexual orgasm.

As sexual arousal intensifies, the erect penis elongates the urethra, straightening the previously curved passage. During orgasm, the transverse diameter of the urethra can double, creating a cavity in the bulbous urethra that is three times larger than during the resting phase. After the onset of the excitement phase, the urethral opening opens with stimulation, but its diameter remains unchanged.

Ejaculation begins with the contraction of the efferent ductules of the testes, followed by the contraction of the epididymis, vas deferens, seminal vesicle ampulla, and prostate gland, which expel fluid into the prostatic urethra. This is followed by the contraction of the ampulla of the vas deferens and the expulsion of seminal vesicle fluid. During ejaculation, prostatic fluid is continuously added with each rhythmic contraction, thus forming semen and entering the dilated bulbourethral region.

When the bulbous urethra is stimulated by the entering semen, the bladder neck reflexively closes, and the internal sphincter contracts, thus preventing semen from flowing backward into the bladder. At the same time, it prevents urine from entering the urethra during ejaculation. The muscles of the bulbous urethra and perineum contract rhythmically in large numbers, pushing the semen forward through the urethra.

While sexual climax is often considered equivalent to ejaculation, it is actually a subjective sensation. There is a several-second interval before this sensation, during which ejaculation feels inevitable. No matter the intensity of external stimulation, it cannot delay or prevent the occurrence of sexual climax; the process will continue until semen is ejaculated. This urgent feeling of ejaculation arises from the accumulation of semen in the bulbous urethra, where rhythmic contractions produce a euphoric sensation. The first two or three contractions are very strong, capable of ejecting semen 20-50 centimeters from the urethral opening, followed by several weaker contractions.

The pleasure experienced during ejaculation is related to the amount of semen, which in turn is related to the length of abstinence. The degree of euphoria and orgasm varies depending on mental state and the intensity and duration of sexual arousal.

The resolution of an erection can be divided into two phases. The first phase is characterized by a rapid return of the penis to its previous state, with approximately 50% of its rigidity lost. This resolution can be prolonged due to a prolonged orgasmic phase and the penis remaining inside the vagina after ejaculation. The second phase is the return of the penis to a flaccid state. This phase can be involuntarily prolonged and can continue for a long time after the refractory period.