9. Male anxieties during sexual intercourse and physiological phenomena after ejaculation

Men's concerns during sex

In married life, it is usually the husband who takes the initiative. Most wives are often exhausted due to the heavy family burden, and are in a passive position due to some psychological and physiological factors. Some wives even regard sex as a "condition" or "punishment", while others simply treat it as a task to satisfy their husbands. In fact, men also have many doubts about sex.

1. Will it cause erectile dysfunction?

When normal men are anxious or depressed, or physically weak due to overwork, or after excessive drinking or smoking, their penis is prone to erectile dysfunction, and they may even experience temporary impotence. This is a normal physiological phenomenon, but some men are unaware of this and worry about whether they have developed impotence, leading to lethargy and anxiety. This psychological burden is precisely the main culprit behind impotence.

2. Are you unable to meet the other party's needs?

Sexual desire varies greatly, and naturally, some women may have a slightly stronger desire than men. Consequently, women may request sex more frequently than men, leading some men to feel less masculine or mistakenly believe their sexual function is inferior to other men. This often results in their wives being unsatisfied in their sex lives. Another situation is where the man frequently experiences premature ejaculation. Although he tries to control it, he always finishes faster than his wife, which over time prevents him from arousing her sexual pleasure, causing her great sadness and guilt.

3. Will it cause physical decline?

Some men are influenced by the traditional concept that "one drop of semen is worth ten drops of blood." At the same time, the woman's worry about her husband's frequent ejaculation also increases the man's psychological burden. Occasionally, headaches or discomfort after intercourse will make them worry that they have a disease. In particular, some introverted, sensitive, suspicious, and cautious people may develop hypochondriasis, which can lead to sexual dysfunction.

4. Is his penis smaller than that of an average man?

Short and thin men often worry that their small penis will not satisfy their partners. If they are further ridiculed by their wives, this worry will only intensify. In fact, the size of the penis varies in a flaccid state, but the size is basically the same when the corpora cavernosa are engorged with blood and erect. Moreover, the nerve cells in the vaginal wall of women are mostly concentrated in the 1/3 of the vagina, so this worry is unnecessary.

Marriage is a natural progression of love, and sexual life after marriage is a bond for communication between husband and wife. Love also requires correct and comprehensive sexual knowledge and a healthy and stable mindset to achieve a more fulfilling and harmonious married life.

Reasons why men feel tired after ejaculation

We know that male ejaculation during orgasm is a normal physiological phenomenon and does not cause any harm to the body. However, what a man loses during the entire sexual activity is not just a few milliliters of semen, but also a significant amount of physical exertion.

Generally speaking, the male sexual response cycle can be divided into: the excitement phase, the plateau phase, the orgasmic phase, and the resolution phase. During the excitement phase, in addition to penile erection, there is subcutaneous venous congestion, sexual flushing (only seen in 1/4 of men, mainly a maculopapular flush on the upper abdomen, chest, and head and neck), accelerated heartbeat, and a slight increase in blood pressure. During this period, breathing is generally not rapid, and there is no sweating. During the plateau phase, the flushing may continue to develop and can spread throughout the body. The muscles throughout the body experience mild spasmodic contractions, the heartbeat increases significantly, averaging 90–130 beats per minute. Blood pressure rises, with systolic pressure increasing by 20–60 mmHg and diastolic pressure increasing by 10–20 mmHg; sweating is not significant. During orgasm, specifically ejaculation and the brief moment following it, voluntary muscle control is lost, resulting in involuntary muscle contractions and spasms. The respiratory rate can reach 40 breaths per minute, the heart rate can increase to 110-160 beats per minute, and blood pressure rises significantly, with systolic blood pressure increasing by 30-80 mmHg and diastolic blood pressure by 20-40 mmHg. Sweating may also occur. In the resolution phase, after ejaculation, the penis softens, the sexual flush disappears rapidly, and respiration, heart rate, and blood pressure quickly return to normal. This phase may be accompanied by significant sweating, with sweat covering the entire body.

The changes throughout the excitement phase reveal that men lose far more than just a few milliliters of semen during intercourse; they expend a considerable amount of physical strength and energy. Statistics show that the changes in breathing and heart rate during orgasm are comparable to those of a sprinter in a 100-meter race, with sweat production reaching 100-300 milliliters during intercourse. Therefore, the "cost" of ejaculating a few milliliters of semen is immeasurable. Due to accelerated blood circulation and increased respiration during intercourse, a significant amount of energy is consumed. After ejaculation, the heart rate and respiration quickly return to normal, cardiac output decreases rapidly, and blood supply to the brain decreases, leading to feelings of fatigue and exhaustion-like a "deflated balloon." However, this is not something to fear. Sexual activity is a normal physiological activity, like eating, exercising, and working. As long as it is properly arranged, it will not have adverse effects. Sexual activity is a component of biological activity and, from a biological perspective, a pre-ordained physiological phenomenon.

Therefore, letting things take their natural course will have no impact. There are two standards: first, the physiological standard is to feel no fatigue after resting for two hours after ejaculation; second, the psychological standard is to feel refreshed and invigorated after intercourse, without experiencing irritability or anxiety. Mastering these two standards will not have any adverse effects on the body.

The advantages of abstaining from ejaculation outweigh the disadvantages.

To achieve harmonious sexual relations, most married men have developed their own sexual techniques and experience, including appropriately controlling ejaculation time to allow their partners to reach orgasm. This generally does not cause any harm to the body. However, some men deliberately hold back ejaculation during intercourse, believing it to be beneficial to health and prolong life; this is completely unfounded.

When a man experiences sexual arousal, his penis becomes erect. Penile erection is a neural reflex. When various sensory organs are sexually stimulated, such as visual, auditory, and tactile stimuli from a sexual object, these signals are transmitted through nerves to the cerebral cortex. After comprehensive analysis, this arouses sexual desire, which excites the sexual control center and sends nerve signals. These signals are then transmitted through relevant nerves to the erectile nerves that control penile erection, resulting in penile erection and ultimately completing the ejaculation process. Intentionally suppressing ejaculation is essentially equivalent to interrupting sexual intercourse and depriving one of the greatest pleasure of sex, which violates the normal physiological laws.

Ejaculation is a normal physiological activity for men. During puberty, as the testes develop, a large number of sperm are produced. Sperm and seminal plasma together constitute semen. Sperm and seminal plasma are continuously produced and accumulate in the vas deferens. Through the body's metabolism, the stored sperm are periodically released (ejaculation or nocturnal emission). In other words, when semen reaches a certain saturation point, it will be expelled from the body through nocturnal emission.

Semen is simply a common secretion produced by a few organs and tissues in the body, serving a certain physiological function. Some people regard semen as a mysterious "essence" that should not be lost, but this lacks scientific basis. Besides sperm, semen mainly consists of water, with only some nutrients such as proteins, fats, and carbohydrates. However, only a few milliliters of semen are ejaculated, which is negligible for the individual.

Sexual instinct is one of the most powerful human instincts, passed down with the same intensity from generation to generation. Any disruption or distortion of this instinct will inevitably affect a person's health. It has been proven that suppressing ejaculation not only fails to prolong life, but over time may even lead to neurasthenia, mood swings, and even prostatitis in men, causing harm rather than benefit. The practice of suppressing ejaculation may originate from the influence of "bedroom arts," which believe that not ejaculating during intercourse can "replenish the brain with essence." This idea is likely related to the Taoist view of abstinence from sexual activity and pleasure. In reality, rather than suppressing ejaculation during intercourse, it is far more practical to adjust the frequency of sexual activity appropriately. This kind of ejaculation without harm to the body refers to moderate sexual activity. Unreasonable arrangement of sexual activity and excessive indulgence can lead to many diseases and shorten lifespan.

Due to age-related changes, older adults may not ejaculate every time they have intercourse, which does not fall under the category of "holding back ejaculation."

What happens after male intercourse?

Most men do not experience any discomfort after intercourse, but a small number may experience the following:

1. White urine after intercourse

Some men find white, flocculent substances in their urine after sexual intercourse, resembling semen. This condition is known as retrograde ejaculation.

During normal ejaculation, the muscles of the bladder neck contract in coordination to prevent semen from flowing back into the bladder. However, when the muscles of the bladder head malfunction, or in men who have undergone prostate or bladder surgery, semen sometimes fails to ejaculate from the urethra and instead flows backward into the bladder. In such cases, white, flocculent semen may be expelled along with the urine during the first or second urination after sexual intercourse. If this occurs, it is essential to seek medical attention at a urology department as soon as possible.

2. Urination following ejaculation

Before sexual intercourse, when the penis is erect and engorged with blood, the sphincter muscles at the bladder outlet are tense, so there is no urge to urinate during an erection. However, after orgasm, the engorgement subsides, the penis softens, and the tension of the bladder sphincter muscles is relieved, hence the urge to urinate after ejaculation. This is a normal physiological phenomenon and does not affect health.

3. Difficulty urinating after intercourse

Some people experience difficulty urinating the day after sexual intercourse, often accompanied by varying degrees of urinary retention. The direct cause of this phenomenon is excessive excitement during intercourse, which leads to spasms of the urethral sphincter and detrusor muscle, thus causing difficulty urinating.

This condition is not pathological, and prevention is simple: avoid excessive excitement and tension during sexual activity. It is best to urinate before and after intercourse. This can prevent urinary tract infections that may occur during intercourse and protect the urethral sphincter muscles, preventing them from spasming easily.